Eighteen Months

In one way it has gone very fast – a blur of appointments, phone calls and arguments. On the other hand, it has been one long slow torture, watching the woman who is the love or my life disintegrate piece by piece. It has been very cruel. No fucking God. Don’t you dare.

I have had to learn about things I had never thought about before in my life. I have had to spend more time with Social Services than ever before, and wrestled with truly threatening forms. I feel closer to my partner than ever before and have found some powerful friendships and support where I least expected it.
 

I need to sort my thoughts a bit and this blog will provide the mechanism. There will be several threads I think:

The emotional journey. For some reason I thought helping and support would be just about giving. I didn’t think it would involve managing arguments, personal feelings of deep despair and facing up to complete failure.

Bureaucracy. The humour writes itself.

Science. There is a part of me that remains somehow strangely apart and clinical. I have always been fascinated by the brain and consciousness and here is a fascinating insight into how it all fits together.
  

At one time I was hoping to be able to keep a diary but for various reasons that was never going to happen. What there will be is a sequence of brief essays.

More to come.