One Door Closes

I arrived mid afternoon planning to take Rosemarie to the garden. It was sunny but a bit windy, and I didn't expect to be out for long, but I think she enjoys the garden and I wanted to try it.

All the residents seemed to be holding Easter Eggs when I arrived. Apparently there had been some kind of meeting in the downstairs lounge which included the late handing out of Easter Eggs, and, more the point, a leaflet amusingly entitled The Real Meaning of Easter. I have no idea whether it was this or the consequential noise and bustle but Rosemarie was distinctly agitated when I arrived, and showed no enthusiasm for going down to the garden.

I wanted to get her out of the noisy lounge in any case so I wheeled her out and headed for the lift. She was not trying to communicate in her usual way as far as I could tell, she was just waving her hands around and jerking a bit. I tried stroking her hair and gently kissing her neck but nothing seemed to be working.

She did not react in the garden so I took her to the Library on the ground floor. This is a quiet place with a nice view of the garden and she normally relaxes and opens up here. Not today. She let me feed her some grapes and slices of plum but with no enthusiasm and no attempt to communicate.

I took her back upstairs for supper and she became even more withdrawn. She paid me no attention and hardly ate anything. She did not make any sounds, and did not seem to be looking at anything in particular. She did not respond at all to me calling her name. I felt totally shut out.

After supper she was made ready for bed and lay there hardly moving. The expression on her face was one of complete disinterest with the merest hint of anger. I tried talking and playing music but she did not respond to anything. After a while I decided there was no point in staying. She stared into space and did not react at all when I kissed her goodbye.

She ignored me when I left.

More than one door closed that visit.